The end of a universe. The conclusion I had hoped would never come, but if I’m being completely honest, I had a feeling about halfway through that it would end this way. It was like a specter over the second half. Rin was chasing her war so intensely that it was more like she was running from what she’d have to deal with when the war ended.

Rin was one of the best characters I’ve seen in a long time. Complicated. Fraught. Idealistic. An absolute force.

But Nezha was right — ideals don’t rule countries, diplomacy does. No matter how she contradicted herself, contradicted her previous opinions, whatever Rin believed in any given moment had the backing of her whole being. It’s kind of inspiring to be so sure all the time. I think readers are used to reading the conflict in the characters when they make decisions, but Rin is only conflicted afterwards. 

With that, Rin is also wrong a lot. She never questioned those for whom she had already decided she wanted to fight. Her choices weren’t made by logic; rather, whatever option allowed her to fight the most. She says this often throughout the series. She wants to fight and fight.

I was prepared to cry at the end of this — that’s what the dedication page had promised. But the closer I got to the end, the closer Rin got to her ultimate goal, the harder it was to root for her success. Rin had to fight against so many bad characters, it’s not that surprising she came to the conclusion that only she could rule. 

Maybe it’s too on the nose to use the expression that when you play with fire, you’re going to get burned…but how could I not. 

The bond that Kitay and Rin have was my favorite part of the story. Kitay keeps Rin from destroying herself for a long time. He saw her potential, he saw that she was the only thing that could bring their society to its next phase. But he also saw when she could no longer see the goal.

There were pieces of the story I wish were expanded more. Rin, in this book specifically, starts to recognize where real, lasting power comes from. The people. Her people. The common man. The masses. 

“Her army was dirt. But dirt was common, ubiquitous, patient, and necessary. The soul gave life to the country. And the earth always reclaimed what it was owed” – 456

This was the one thing that all the many leaders she served didn’t understand. They were oh so special or powerful or maybe just wealthy that they thought authority belonged to them, that it was rightfully theirs. Rin was so close to seeing this. At the very end, Rin wasn’t fighting for any new leader with some brilliant new way to make everything perfect and beautiful. She was making decisions with her friends and getting the opinion of people who will be impacted by their decisions. 

Rin proved that persistence is far more important than isolated power. Rin was so close to losing so many times. Anyone else would have given up. Everyone else told her to give up. But she knew what she was fighting for.

At least she thought she did.

The problem was she didn’t know why she was fighting. For all her persistence, it was her unwillingness to compromise or listen that brought about her downfall. The why should have been more important. Rather, Rin’s focus was how to fight and when her next fight was.

The closest Rin came to winning her war was when she returned to Tikany and saw that the people there never gave up on her. They hoped and hoped and hoped, even planting a poppy field just in case she needed it. And she did. They were going to turn everything around. This was supposed to win her the war.

That is until Rin’s persistence, her need for vengeance, her unwillingness to put down her sword — her desire to burn — ended up burning herself. When Rin told them that she was going to take the fight to the Hesperians because she knew that they would eventually come back, the people of Tikany tried to remind her that “eventually” didn’t matter. They were going to starve tomorrow.

Rin forgot for whom she fought. A war of ideals can never be won. It’s the same war humanity has always fought and always will: whose way of living is better.

I understand that you have to reach for a goal — a more prosperous, peaceful, fruitful society, in the vaguest sense. But in the meantime, there are mouths to feed, lives to live. There is no point in Rin winning the war if there is no one around to live in the after. This Rin could not see, because she always left the logistics to others. I don’t think she was capable of handling that. Not that it was too complicated, but the emotions of it were too heavy for her.

The people of Tikany believed in Rin because they believed she fought for them. When they no longer believed that, that is when she lost the war. I could get into the idea that she was losing her mind, but people will take a mad king if he is their mad king. That was Kitay’s point. He could keep her on the right track. He could maintain her madness.

In the end, it’s not really the rulers who rule. It’s the people. Nezha understood that compromise was required for survival, and survival comes first. The fight was never really between Nezha or Rin, that’s why they could never kill each other. The fight was about what the future looked like, who could bring it about, and who could ensure the people survived. 

In the end, Rin realized that her fight would never end. She would never be able to stop fighting. If she slowed down and tried to live in the world that they had created, she would crumble. For all her cruelty, she was quite empathetic. As soon as she looked someone in the eyes, she paused. That’s why she became so dependent on drugs. Rin committed a genocide — she knew that — but she justified it by believing that it had to be done to ensure the survival of her people. 

Rin could not have her cake and eat it too. If she wanted to fight for the people, she had to compromise with those who could take them over. She had to listen to the people and what they wanted. She had to stop fighting. This she could not do.

I’m not sure I can say that I liked the ending of the book. It didn’t wrap up cleanly like I always want a good book to do. Rin doesn’t get a happy ending. Or maybe she did. Maybe the ending she got was her happy ending. 

What I can say is that the series will stick with me for a long time. And that’s what we want from good literature. To come out of it changed, to think differently, to see the world in a slightly different hue.