You never realize a moment is a turning point in your life within that moment. You don’t realize that the choices you just made will change the course of your life. That one decision leads to so many others as time goes on.

Once, when I was working as a barista, I was given $200 from a customer because he thought I was pretty. He wanted to get me a gift but he didn’t know what I would like so he gave me the money he was planning to spend instead.

I didn’t know it at the time, but that was a vital moment for me. Everyone at the cafe kept telling me how I should spend it on fun things or frivolous things. The money was for me and I could do anything with it. But none of that felt right.

I quickly realized the weight that money could have for my life — if I let it. The way I could wield it. The way I could manipulate. The way I could shift myself to get more of it if I wanted to. All because someone thought I was pretty.

I decided to give the money to a women’s shelter nearby.

***

It’s been a few years since this happened and even when I have struggled with money since then — and it’s happened plenty — I never regret that decision. The man who gave me the money didn’t know me, didn’t care who I was outside of the person he already decided I was, and didn’t listen to my protests against his attention.

So if the money was for a woman who didn’t exist, it could go to any woman. Hopefully, a few women who would do some real good with it.

This was a moment when I decided what kind of person I wanted to be, what kind of woman I wanted to be. I’ve had a few of them since. There are so many ways to be a bad person, to cheat people, to take advantage. And it’s so simple in our world. It’s so easy to not care.

It took a few years to realize that the moment I was given that money I made a decision on what matters to me.